The SAS, Patriots, and Gillette

Two Tuesdays ago, al-Shabaab terrorists stormed a Nairobi, Kenya luxury hotel with bombs and guns, killing 21 people, among them an American and a Briton, and wounding a great many more.  The prolonged siege made for a great deal of television and cellphone footage of bystanders fleeing into the surrounding neighborhood and diving to the ground en masse whenever gunshots rang out.  Some 20 or so hours later, authorities announced that the attackers had been killed inside the building.  

Interestingly, the cameras revealed that among the responders was a white-skinned beefy lad in blue jeans, a sweatshirt, and in classic special ops fashion, a pair of trail sneakers.  More significantly, he was wearing a camouflage colored combat vest, pack, and belt, his head covered by a tan balaclava.  He carried an assault rifle, and a semi-automatic pistol was strapped to one thigh.  Cameras captured him making numerous trips into the compound, carrying out wounded victims, stopping to confer with authorities, and most memorably, dashing singlehandedly into a doorway as a Kenyan soldier in the foreground hunkers safely behind cover.

‘That guy’s SAS!’  the British press gushed the next day, referring to the Special Air Service, the elite commando regiment.  The papers surmised what they could from the compelling images: he was assigned to Kenya as a training liaison; clearly he was off duty and probably had all of his gear in the trunk of his car, so he just threw it on over his casual clothes as he was called for back up.  

One particular picture has become a meme on Facebook, a shot of him running hand in hand with a frightened woman, bringing her to safety.  The caption reads, ‘TOXIC MASCULINITY: Because when the shit hits the fan, no one hides behind a feminist.’

Late Sunday night, after his 75-yard overtime scoring drive led the New England Patriots past the Kansas City Chiefs and to yet another Super Bowl, quarterback Tom Brady posted a smug and admittedly funny video to Instagram.  In it, he and tight end Rob Gronkowski are walking near the team buses somewhere beneath Arrowhead Stadium.  They don’t say a word.  Brady smiles and simply raises his eyebrows as if to ask, ‘Well, what can you say?’  Gronkowski similarly shrugs before he struts and purses his lips in a smirk.  The video then cuts to a shot of the game winning touchdown, set to the tune of Diddy’s ‘Bad Boy for Life.’ 

Brady and Gronkowski ‘ain’t goin’ nowhere; [they] can’t be stopped,’ as the lyrics say, despite how numerous broadcasters and fans of rival teams labeled them as mere shadows of their former selves.  Brady’s throwing numbers have been down.  Gronkowski’s been injured.  They’re probably done after this season, said the experts.  The Patriots’ playoff hopes are definitely done.    

Brady earned the right to gloat, which was the latest volley in a long running social media battle with his critics.  He was a stone-cold cool customer in the game, leading two of his trademark scoring drives at the end, one with two minutes left in regulation and the other for the overtime win.  Brady and Gronk might not be the men they once were, but they were more man than anybody else last week.

Another meme I liked floated through my Facebook feed a few weeks ago.  It’s either a video or picture of a collegiate wrestler launching an opponent by way of a giant, back-arching suplex.  The landing is, or promises to be, brutal.  The caption reads: ‘Last year, 2.1 million kids were bullied.  Strangely enough, none of them were wrestlers.  Scientists are struggling to discover why.’

This fits perfectly into the theme of Getting the Job Done.  Sometimes a good dose of violence, properly applied, is necessary to restore the social order - and becoming able to deliver that dose is an important part of growing up.    

Fourteen year old Equestrienne Girl and I have talked about how kids could be mean at school.  ‘If you’re ever in a situation where you have to stick up for someone - or yourself,’ I told her, ‘you are absolutely cleared to engage.  I’d love to come to that parent conference.’  

Since a perfect amount of macho-violent fulfillment can be found on-line, if not at the gym, I was surprised by the level of backlash against a recent commercial made by the Gillette shaving company.  Playing upon their ‘The Best a Man Can Get’ tagline, they ask whether men are in fact living up to their responsibilities in a society too often plagued by bullying and sexual harassment.  Other forms of masculinity are just fine, the two-minute piece hastens to point out.  The men depicted coming to the aid of the kid being bullied, breaking up the backyard fight, and intercepting the guy lunging after a woman on the street display moral courage.  The implicit message, that the greater social welfare is ultimately in the hands of men, ought to be reassuring as well, but people aren’t catching it.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koPmuEyP3a0

On YouTube, where the ad has been viewed 25 million times, the Dislikes outnumber the Likes 12 million to 712,000.  The comments are overwhelmingly negative.  Some are racist, some sexist, some political; others vow to boycott Gillette.  

This is a lot of guys unable to distinguish between positive and negative forms of male behavior.  They should have paid better attention in English class and learned how to parse meanings - especially when it comes to the phrase ‘toxic masculinity.’  Somehow they’ve taken that to mean that there’s an ‘equals’ sign in there, that masculinity IS toxic.  No, fellas; they’re just specifying.  

Secondly, for such a big collection of presumably rough and tough hombres, they seem oddly threatened by this commercial, if not the political movement.  The chorus that masculinity itself is under attack sounds pretty panicky.  They’re throwing up their hands with an exaggerated, ‘You don’t like anything we [men] do,’ which smacks of a childish petulance at being scolded.  

Still, I kind of know what these guys are driving at, even if they’re not articulating it: there are some facts of male existence that women, and a certain number of men, fail to appreciate.  Men naturally sort out who the Alpha Dogs are.  Consciously or not, they establish pecking orders.  Life is a meritocracy; it’s how guys think, how they order the universe.  Even as they try to be reasonable members of society, they reserve the right to claim their place and give in to a testosterone laden impulse from time to time.  

All of that is absolutely valid.  The problem, quite simply, is when that testosterone fueled behavior comes at someone else’s expense.  

We’re left to wonder if the guys objecting to the Gillette commercial are fighting to retain the right to gang up and beat on the goofy kid, or the gay kid, somebody who can’t fight back.  

Really, these guys are fighting for the freedom to humiliate or sexualize a woman when they can’t make an impression based on their own merits?  

I might be hanging around the wrong websites, but I don’t see a lot of people admiring those who victimize others.   By contrast, the guys we like to see kick ass are usually making the world a better place.

That SAS meme, above, is actually a decent joke at heart: ‘Jeez, you give us men nothing but grief - until you really need us.’  Well, yeah.  That’s part of what being Alpha is, getting the job done when it matters most.  There’s nothing toxic about that - and it’s about as masculine as one can get, especially when you consider the story a little more deeply: that guy was detailed to Kenya specifically to train their forces to handle an al-Shabaab attack.  Once all the innocent victims had been evacuated from the hotel, he no doubt gathered a squad of Kenyan soldiers in a huddle.  ‘OK, class, we’re flipping ahead a few chapters.  Let’s go finish these guys off.’

Whether or not you’re rooting for Brady, Gronkowski, and the Patriots, you have to admire those guys for coming through in a clutch situation.  The wordless Instagram post was a stroke of genius; they’ll do all their talking on the field.  More importantly, you don’t see those guys bringing anybody down.

One of my athletes from from last year just rejoined us, having been gone all Summer and Fall playing football - and lifting.  In fact, I wrote about him; he used to wince as the lightest weights folded him up.  Now, however, it’s a different story.  I used him the other day in a demonstration about the squat.  

This has not escaped the notice of the young ladies.  After a workout, I caught a bit of conversation as I passed through the lobby.  One girl wanted to know all about what he’d been up to.  She gazed up at him as he stood with one thumb hooked inside the backpack strap on his shoulder.  

He tossed the hair out of his eyes.  ‘College?  I don’t know,’ he shrugged.  ’I have another year.  Yeah, a lot of people think I’m a senior for some reason.’  

Just get the job done.  The masculinity will take care of itself.