A Splendid Fellow
I had a great view from where I sat on the bench with my shift mates. Our team, the White team in pick up hockey, had suddenly found itself in a flurry of confusion at center ice, as they skidded, shifted direction, and raced our color shirted opponents after a suddenly errant puck. It wound up on the stick of one of our defensemen, a great bearded bear of a man who had surged forward, moving from my right to left.
The color jersey team scrambled to their blue line and skated backwards to form a defense. The White forwards were caught out of position, so the big man opted to unload a slapshot. That’d give the goalie something to think about in case he and the defense thought they were ready.
He skated close by our bench and took the shot right as he was in line between me and the goalie. I could see his shoulders rotate as he wound up, the arc of his stick blade, and the hard, level, waist high shot that sailed from the red line and passed about a foot outside the goal before cracking like a gunshot against the boards.
His nonchalance made the feat all the more impressive. He watched the shot go but then leaned away in a great swoop to get back to where he belonged on defense. He was a natural skater boasting no doubt decades of experience. (This was an over-50 pick up game.) He was a natural leader, too, a jolly 250-pound giant. Earlier I was part of a more focused offensive charge with him. He came down the left side and let fly a shot from close range. I had similarly dashed in from the right. The goalie flung himself over to block the first shot, but the rebounding puck came to me. I quickly put it in the open net.
The big man pointed at me with an approving nod. Well done: I had been in exactly the right place. He also gave a great laugh and shook his head. After all that work, the other guy gets the goal. So it goes.
Generosity must be one of the hallmarks of the Alpha Male. These guys are so comfortable in their own skin that they can be welcoming to those drawn to them. (I should bear this in mind for a future comparison. We have another guy who is just as Alpha in hockey, if not more so, but he’s a darker presence.)
My pick-up teammate two weeks ago was a rather splendid fellow, a model of hockey skill and self assurance I’d like to emulate.
As a freshman in high school I was similarly in awe of a senior named [Dan Schneider,] whom I first beheld on a trip into the school weight room, somewhere I never would have dared venture on my own. I was in the smallest weight class on the wrestling team, and we had been sent over for a conditioning session.
Schneider was doing rack pull deadlifts with what must have been 275 or 300 pounds. He was in a tank top and sweats, and like all of the Class of 1979’s seniors, he looked like he was 40 years old with a dark, hairy chest and lamb chop sideburns. We were pink skinned boys.
I had seen weight bars with a plate at each end before, but Schneider had two big plates on each end, a strange, powerful symmetry like multiple locomotives linked together at the head of a freight train.
I would see Schneider around campus from time to time. He seemed to be a pretty model citizen, if not a Superman beneath his normal clothes. I wondered, would I ever be that impressive as a senior?
The Stoic Philosophers tell us that to get past any emotions, good or bad, these broad portraits might inspire, the trick would be to delve into the numerous details that make up their subjects, including the thousand ways others must see them in different lights. In the case of Dan Schneider, I had far exceeded his lifts by the time I was a senior. If I pondered any details, they concerned my own long campaign of sets and reps. I had no animosities or pride; I knew I had simply outworked him.
Similarly, I have no envy or jealousy that would compel me to boil down the persona of that hockey playing Grizzly Adams. I do, however, see some of the dangers that would concern the Stoics. I could relegate myself to a permanently lesser status whether I’m dazzled by him, critical of myself, or both.
You don’t have to like him any less, the Stoics would say, but do be mindful of a few realities. His greatness and self assuredness around the rink are the result of decades of traveling and playing in different parts of the country, judging from the stories I’ve overheard. Many of these over-50’s played in college and for men’s league teams their entire lives. I’ve played for three months. That my puck handling or game acumen is a bit behind theirs is only logical. Conversely, none of them are squatting and deadlifting north of 400 every week.
Focus on specific skills to narrow the gap, the Stoics would urge. Put to use all that desire and hustle from last time around. Celebrate what you have in common with the other guys, but keep all the details to yourself. That will make you a splendid fellow.
